WHAT TO WEAR TO THE WEDDING

written by Cynthia Cushing

Neither of my daughters is getting married soon, although one of them knows exactly what her wedding will be like when the day comes. She’s considered venues, time of day, dresses, shoes, registries, the cake and her attendants. She’s even given a certain amount of thought to the qualities that would be admirable in a groom. So I said to her one night at dinner, “What do you want me to wear to your wedding?”
“You? You can wear whatever you want. I don’t care,” she answered.
I asked my husband. “What do you think a mother of the bride should wear?”
“Is someone getting married? Who cares what you wear?” he said.
“That,” I said as I popped the cork back in the wine bottle and whisked it away just as he was about to pour a second glass, “is my point exactly. Who cares? Nobody but me.”
Well, me and every other woman with daughters of marrying age. We’ve been to our share of weddings and we’ve seen the horror that awaits she who does not care what she wears or, worse, she who thinks she shouldn’t care what she wears. This is the mother of the bride in the pale seafoam dress with the little chiffon capelet, the pearls, the rosebud corsage, the timid hat and the bone-coloured pumps with one-and-a-half-inch heels. We’ve seen her yet not seen her; she is the invisible woman. We never gave her a thought until our daughters’ friends started getting married. Now, we’re thinking that the mother- of-the-bride dress is one of the toughest looks to pull off. It’s tougher than the first day of Grade 8, tougher than prom night and much, much tougher than your own wedding. But is it impossible? Not at all. I’ve critiqued mothers’ clothes at weddings I’ve attended recently and asked every woman over 50 whom I know what she would wear. I have searched for role models in all areas of public life. I’ve come up with two mother-of-the-bride looks that almost anyone can wear and make her own, no matter how time-pressed or fashion-backward she might be.
First, you need to realize what you are up against. There are reasons for the ubiquity of the seafoam dress, the main one being fear of overhearing a guest at the wedding say, “Did you get a load of what the mother of the bride is wearing? Is she trying to look like she’s 20?”
Rule One for the mother of the bride? Never outshine the bride. That’s a rule to which most of us can adhere without trying. Rule Two? Never look as if you are trying to outshine the bride. Anything too clingy, too colourful, too ruffled or too revealing and the mother of the bride might as well have cards printed that say Desperately Trying to Hold On to My Youth Despite All Evidence to the Contrary and then hand them out in the receiving line. At least that’s what we imagine and it makes being invisible infinitely preferable.

For the rest of this article click here.